Heartbreak....
Written June 10, 2017
Almost 2 weeks ago I was laying in our newly painted room in a our new house. I laid there waiting for my husband to come to bed. it was already pretty late but I had waited because that was usually our time to talk about our day and catch up. He didn't even talk to me and went straight to the shower. Right there was when I realized something was wrong. The signs all started playing in my head. He wouldn't call me to see how my day was going, or even just a text message, he wouldn't kiss me, he wouldn't touch me anymore, even those small pats on the butt (He likes my butt). We hadn't had sex in over a month. But worst of all, he would even look at me. I waited for him to get out of the shower, and it was a VERY long one. When he came to bed, I explained that I felt like something was up. He then told me, not looking at me at all, that he doesn't love me anymore and he is not happy anymore. He said he hadn't been happy for some time now. As soon as I heard that, my heart sank! It broke into a million pieces. In my mind I started to think that I should beg for him to stay, Then I thought he was cheating. So I asked him. Of course he denied it. Then I asked him what he wanted to do. I said that I wasn't going to beg for him to stay. He said he didn't know what to do and felt that if he stayed he would be wasting my time. WOW! That broke my heart into a million more pieces. I told him if he wanted to go he needed to go ahead and leave right away. He said he still didn't know what he was going to do. We went back and forth that night on what his plan was. He explained that he was only around because of our daughter. Which went on to break my heart in more pieces. He said that he would still pay the bills for us, which went on and broke it some more. We ended the night with him claiming that he was going to try. It didn't seem like it was very convincing. It really seemed like he was just saying that so he didn't have to move his stuff out because it was late, or he didn't want to go to his mom's house where his brother and sister n law are staying.
Almost 2 weeks ago I was laying in our newly painted room in a our new house. I laid there waiting for my husband to come to bed. it was already pretty late but I had waited because that was usually our time to talk about our day and catch up. He didn't even talk to me and went straight to the shower. Right there was when I realized something was wrong. The signs all started playing in my head. He wouldn't call me to see how my day was going, or even just a text message, he wouldn't kiss me, he wouldn't touch me anymore, even those small pats on the butt (He likes my butt). We hadn't had sex in over a month. But worst of all, he would even look at me. I waited for him to get out of the shower, and it was a VERY long one. When he came to bed, I explained that I felt like something was up. He then told me, not looking at me at all, that he doesn't love me anymore and he is not happy anymore. He said he hadn't been happy for some time now. As soon as I heard that, my heart sank! It broke into a million pieces. In my mind I started to think that I should beg for him to stay, Then I thought he was cheating. So I asked him. Of course he denied it. Then I asked him what he wanted to do. I said that I wasn't going to beg for him to stay. He said he didn't know what to do and felt that if he stayed he would be wasting my time. WOW! That broke my heart into a million more pieces. I told him if he wanted to go he needed to go ahead and leave right away. He said he still didn't know what he was going to do. We went back and forth that night on what his plan was. He explained that he was only around because of our daughter. Which went on to break my heart in more pieces. He said that he would still pay the bills for us, which went on and broke it some more. We ended the night with him claiming that he was going to try. It didn't seem like it was very convincing. It really seemed like he was just saying that so he didn't have to move his stuff out because it was late, or he didn't want to go to his mom's house where his brother and sister n law are staying.
Time went on, I questioned everything in my head. Was it me? What can I do to change things? How did we get here? Was he already invested in another relationship? Many things ran through my head, and thinking about everything just make me upset and made me cry. I stopped eating and closed myself off to my mom, dad, friends, and worse, I closed myself off to my daughter. I started to go through depression.
I started to become needy, like I needed this person in my life to keep going. I would call him and text him. I would always try to be around him. I started to realize everything I was doing. Of course thinking that this would only push him away more.
I turned to some people in my life, God, my mom and dad, and a good friend of mine. I told them about what was going on. The thing I heard from all three of them was be patient. This is something that I definitely lack.
I started to become needy, like I needed this person in my life to keep going. I would call him and text him. I would always try to be around him. I started to realize everything I was doing. Of course thinking that this would only push him away more.
I turned to some people in my life, God, my mom and dad, and a good friend of mine. I told them about what was going on. The thing I heard from all three of them was be patient. This is something that I definitely lack.
Memorial Day came and both of our families were getting together at our house. Everything seemed to be okay but I still noticed he was very distant, even with his family.
The next couple of days I still noticed he was very distant. I still had a feeling that he was seeing someone else. I had to prove it with evidence. So when he went to bed, I grabbed his phone. I saw that he had forgotten to delete a couple of text messages. They were from a girl. That's when I decided to call her. He heard me in the other room and when he saw that I was trying to call her, he came at me to try and get his phone, I walked into the other room. That's when he pushed me and knocked me down to the ground and got on top of me to try and get his phone. He was very rough. I asked how long he had been talking to someone else and he said it was not long. Thats when he told me he wasnt happy and he just thinks we should go our separate ways. He got his back pack and the clothes on his back and walked out the door. At this point our daughter heard everything. She knew why he was leaving. He walked away and didn't even look back.
That night I text the girl and told her what I had found out. I pulled up phone records and found out that they had been talking for a really long time.
She text me the next morning and asked if we could talk. I said okay. It turns out that he had been seeing each other for a while. He had lied about A LOT of things. He told her that I was a terrible person, that I wasn't in love with him, and was probably seeing someone else. He told her I was fat and ugly and unattractive, He told her that he was going to be getting divorced. He said that he had a big company with 50 employees, he only has 2. He said that I could keep everything and everything is in his name, only things in his name were the cell phone and the electricity. He said that he has a successful company, nothing is successful about his company and my dad was financially backing a part of his company. He said that he had a degree, I had thought this through our whole relationship and something told me to ask my sister-n-law, it turns out he never went to college. He lied about his criminal background which consists of MANY things including felonies. I could keep going!
I heard all of this and was angry! I also waited to see if he was going to apologize or see how my daughter and I were doing, Instead he called and text the mistress, who by the way is 12 years younger than him, close to our daughter's age. He was supposed to go by the house the following day so that we could talk, but instead decided not to because he was trying to make things up with the young girl he had been seeing. My daughter had been sleeping with me and that night we laid in bed and cried. She is old enough to know everything that is going on. we fell asleep in our tears and questioned why.
The following day I decided it was time to meet with an attorney. Keep in mind, I had closed my bank account the day before. I decided I needed to file a restraining order because he had put his hands on me and all of the bruises and scratches were starting to come out. Then I went ahead and filed for divorce. Since he was too invested in the young mistress. Then it was something that needed to be done.
I kept holding out hope that he would call or that he would try to apologize. He never did. When I would speak to him on the phone he was cold and treated me very ugly. He would keep saying that he wasn't happy, he kept saying he just wants to go our separate ways. He kept telling me to leave him alone.
He said that I needed to stop texting his mistress, which she had been texting me. She is a child and she is playing childish games. She said she was just going to get even with him. She said he is her puppet and does whatever she says, she even text me out of the blue saying that he loves her. She is sick and playing around with my 14+ years or being with him.
It's not a joke. And I feel like I have been thrown to the trash. After 14+ years of trying, 14+ years of memories, 14+ years of hardships, and 14+ years of support for him, I just mean nothing anymore. There has been no contact from him. It is very sad.
I was told that he told his mistress that I was fat and ugly, that he wasn't attracted to me, funny cause he had always been trying to have sex with me, up until over a month ago. My weight would fluctuate because I don't have a thyroid, and my hormones were off an on. But what is very weird, 2 and a half weeks ago I all of a sudden started to lose weight. I am now 36 pounds lighter and I have been working out to keep toned and to keep myself busy.
One thing that I am not, is someone who will try to get revenge, and I am not an ugly person, I told my daughter that she is an adult, she can make her own decisions and if she wants to talk to him that is fine. Well he text her and she told him that she lost all respect for him because of what he did. I know that hurt, but I can't blame her for that because her world was secure and going well, and all of a sudden he ruined it. I pray for her, that she will be strong through this. I pray for me, that I will be strong and have guidance through all of this. For now I will let time figure everything out, and let God do what he does best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJOqJ-RitOg
He said that I needed to stop texting his mistress, which she had been texting me. She is a child and she is playing childish games. She said she was just going to get even with him. She said he is her puppet and does whatever she says, she even text me out of the blue saying that he loves her. She is sick and playing around with my 14+ years or being with him.
It's not a joke. And I feel like I have been thrown to the trash. After 14+ years of trying, 14+ years of memories, 14+ years of hardships, and 14+ years of support for him, I just mean nothing anymore. There has been no contact from him. It is very sad.
I was told that he told his mistress that I was fat and ugly, that he wasn't attracted to me, funny cause he had always been trying to have sex with me, up until over a month ago. My weight would fluctuate because I don't have a thyroid, and my hormones were off an on. But what is very weird, 2 and a half weeks ago I all of a sudden started to lose weight. I am now 36 pounds lighter and I have been working out to keep toned and to keep myself busy.
One thing that I am not, is someone who will try to get revenge, and I am not an ugly person, I told my daughter that she is an adult, she can make her own decisions and if she wants to talk to him that is fine. Well he text her and she told him that she lost all respect for him because of what he did. I know that hurt, but I can't blame her for that because her world was secure and going well, and all of a sudden he ruined it. I pray for her, that she will be strong through this. I pray for me, that I will be strong and have guidance through all of this. For now I will let time figure everything out, and let God do what he does best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJOqJ-RitOg
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