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Who I Was When I was With Him

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3 years ago today I filed for divorce from him. I look back and realize it was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life. And as I look back I realize who I used to be when I was with him. I was a horrible person. Because I was not happy I was not a very good person. I was VERY materialistic. I was someone who wanted all the nice things. designer clothes, handbags, and shoes, a fancy car, and going out to fancy dinners and nice places. I wanted to show off too. I would post all of this on social media so others could see it. I would also post things on social media as if we were the perfect couple. Little did people know that it was actually the total opposite. There were many instances of infidelity. I was not told I was beautiful. I was not given any attention. Because of the infidelity there wasn't any trust and there was insecurities on my end. There wasn't any romance at all. I wasn't his number one in life. It was more like I was his number ten, maybe even fift
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Letter to My Ex Husband.....

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Dear SZ Today I write to you to say thank you. As we separated I was angry and never thought I would get to this time in my life, but I want to thank you. Thank you for cheating on me when I was dealing with thyroid cancer. Thank you for taking advantage of me at my lowest point in life and my insecurities. Thank you for taking advantage of my trust. Thank you for breaking the law many times and me having to pawn my jewelry to get you out of jail. Thank you for not showing me any affection, especially out in public. Thank you for not giving me any attention. Thank you for discounting my feelings when I have tried to communicate with you. Thank you for not being romantic and planning getaways for just us, or doing small things like flowers every now and then. Thank  you for not telling me I am beautiful or showing me that you appreciate me. Thank you for not being my support system and being my backbone so I am able to succeed. Thank you for taking advantage of my support and making
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Heartbreak....

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Written June 10, 2017 Almost 2 weeks ago I was laying in our newly painted room in a our new house. I laid there waiting for my husband to come to bed. it was already pretty late but I had waited because that was usually our time to talk about our day and catch up. He didn't even talk to me and went straight to the shower. Right there was when I realized something was wrong. The signs all started playing in my head. He wouldn't call me to see how my day was going, or even just a text message, he wouldn't kiss me, he wouldn't touch me anymore, even those small pats on the butt (He likes my butt). We hadn't had sex in over a month. But worst of all, he would even look at me. I waited for him to get out of the shower, and it was a VERY long one. When he came to bed, I explained that I felt like something was up. He then told me, not looking at me at all, that he doesn't love me anymore and he is not happy anymore. He said he hadn't been happy for some time n
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